It's been a little (try, long) while since I've done a Sunday summary type post and, whilst those usually extend over the past seven days, we're throwing this one back to the beginning of third year. (So the end of September, basically.) It's been a pretty crazy first month back at university and I probably have a lot to say for myself — but, really, what's new there?
It's weird, but sometimes I genuinely think we manage to forget the amazing people we have in our lives. Does anyone else just stop in their tracks and think 'wow, I am so so lucky.' I think I'm quite a reflective person in that sense and think a lot about what I have and haven't got. A lot of the time I get stuck on the long list of things I'm without and that's definitely not a great thing to obsess over, but everyone in the world has done it at one point or another, right? Nobody is entirely satisfied with their lot. In an odd sort of way, though, I'm happy that I get like that, because when I'm reminded that I've got such a lovely set of friends (both at home and at uni) and a wonderful, ever growing family, it sort of puts everything else into perspective and I just feel so light and happy. Where does this stem from in the events of the past month? Well, this month I've felt incredibly supported through a lot of situations varying in shittiness and stressfulness. Those are some pretty horrible 's' orientated 'ness' feelings, huh?
But it's okay, I got through the worst of it because of some really great people. My friend Beth travelled 7 hours (or something ridiculous like that) to come and see One Direction at The O2 with me for the third time. Honestly, we'd seen them twice together already. It seemed pretty fitting that it would turn out she'd be seeing them with me once again, potentially for the last time. And I'm grateful, because it came about from a pretty horrific situation which I've risen above and won't go into. I've also felt this support stretched from Lauren and my sister when it came down to trying to navigate my way through the stress of balancing university and an internship. Ultimately, they helped me come to a decision that was the best call for my own wellbeing mentally. And then Lauren proceeded to be the ace friend that she is by distracting me from my worries by whisking me into central London and having a grand old time buying autumnal clothes and sitting in autumnal settings. And then there are all my other university friends, who I love so much. My mind keeps coming back to the fact this is our last year and it makes me so sad, but also so incredibly grateful, because I've honestly had the time of my life these past couple of years. They're the reason I've enjoyed my time at university so much. Without them, I probably would have remained the person I was in first year.
This month has also meant beginning the dreaded 'D' word of university: dissertation. That's partly where some of that 'stressfulness' I was banging on about comes in. But I'm beginning to piece together my ideas now and it could mean spending a lot of time indulging in the magazine archives on my campus. Being there makes me so giddy and light; it is literally my idea of heaven. And, okay, wow, I feel like this blog post took a really cheesy turn, but I am so content here? Somehow my emotions this month have come full circle (insert menstruation joke here). My brain was so fried with everything, but the people and this place — London — have kept me anchored down and, as scary as it is, I never want to leave. I love that it's so full of everything and that parts of it contradict others in how it looks and how it feels and it'll take years to know it like the back of my hand, but I want to do it.
Okay, I'll stop rambling now. This clearly wasn't so much a round-up as a complete dumping of everything circulating around in my head — it's a wild place to be right now, you'd probably get lost.
